Maybe I appeared a little bitter in my previous post. No worries, nothing's changed. So you want a change of life. You're bored. You're a hamster in a wheel running some pretend or pretentious rat race. You're wife is bitching that you're not making enough money. You're kids are in private school. Well, I guess I'll preface this by saying- if your kids are in private school, Colorado does offer some sort of voucher program if you want to better your children's education. Just call it Comerado. However, unless you're fond of two faced friends... I'd pass on Colorado. It's not your comrade.
Laaaaaadieeeesss. Do you suffer from dry skin? Fine lines? Ashy legs? No you don't. Not unless you reside in Colorado. There's not enough $400 dollar cream going around that's gonna fix your face. Fan of Aveeno? Ever had a bad meal at a restaurant with a 5 star rating? Well that's precisely what Colorado will do to your skin. Spend all you want on a facial. Don't you know by now a short term fix won't solve a a long term problem? That's right. Sorry Nordstrom, Khiels, Herbivore, Sephora.... money can't buy the damage Colorado will do to your skin. No one needs to be 5000 to 14,000 miles closer to the sun. Soaking up the sun in Colorado will only lead to cancer and looking like a doormat. Men? Don't think this affects you? It will when your woman looks 20 years older than you.
I sort of skipped over the marijuana thing. Well it's legal and that's awesome. But have you ever googled all the marijuana arrests that have taken place in Coloarado after the legalization of pot? Oh hell no. You probably haven't. Why are there so many possession charges in state where pot is legal? Do you like thugs? I sure hope so if you're planning to move to Colorado. The entire state has welcomed hardcore criminals so they can move here to grow pot. Ever heard of the cartel? Well if you move here most likely they will be in your backyard. The last guy I met in the pot business had a warrant out for kidnapping and murder in Florida.
I'll be frank with you. What sounds better? Snowshoeing or walking along the beach. It's that simple. Stay the fuck out of Colorado.
You know how much it takes to buy a lot here? 200,000. Water tap? 30,000. Go build your mansion somewhere else. They don't want you here anyway and they won't be afraid to admit it.
Monday, May 29, 2017
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Colorado is a shithole and here's why
At some point in his or her life one may question wouldn't it be nice to see the Rockies. You may be intrigued by wildlife or just want to gain the experience or so called pleasure of visiting Colorado. However, contrary to popular belief- Colorado is a bonafide shithole. Why may you ask? For oh so many reasons. You think you hate your 9-5 job, you think you hate where you live? You think you're not reaching your full potential. Well let me tell you- if you want to be a better person and actually grow? Then stay the fuck out of Colorado. And here's why.
1. The altitude. Don't know what it is- but these people are handicapped. They are total airheads. Their lack of oxygen is the only benefit of the doubt I could possibly give these natives or long time dwellers for being socially and mentally defunct.
2. Did I just mention the people? People wanna give the south a bad wrap or obscure little towns across America for being "backwards". Well slow down because Colorado is full of the most shallow, backwards, immature, entitled, ignorant, close-minded people I have ever encountered. Don't believe me? Just read any Coloradoans reply on a message board to someone who finds a problem with their state. Their responses lack any tact and just fortify the assholes that they are. Class? None of them have any. Emotionally, 99% of them never grew past the 6th grade. They are more closed minded than the Christian Coalition. Most of the millenials born and raised there have no desire to even travel outside their home state. Sad. And don't get me started on the good ole boys club. Fast fact: if you're a cowboy who is part of a ranch cult and can carry a conversation about breeding horses you can almost violate any law. But if you are from Texas or California they will do their damned best to send you to prison for jaywalking.
3. Stepford wife capital of America. I thought slavery was abolished years ago. I thought women had rights. I though people are no longer considered property. That is, if you don't reside in Colorado.
4. Beauty is totally overrated. I mean if your into brown desert flatlands and rattlesnakes and tumble weed, I suppose you could paint a nice picture of a horse galloping through the scenic *scoffs* brown dusty land. Colorado has only one thing going for it and it's the Rockies. Except the mountains are full of pretentious people who consider skiiing as a pastime to boast about. They act like their ability to ski is on par with a child prodigy who can play piano like Beethoven or paint like Van Gogh. News flash- stop thinking you and your mountains are so goddamn special.
5. Lacking all culture. God forbid you are anything but white. It's 2017 and children still ask their parents why someone has brown skin. Are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure most of Colorado forgets that there's an entire world out there.
6. Bigotry and laziness. Their ability to complete a business transaction is comparable to communicating by telegram. I'm seriously surprised these people know how to properly cross a street let alone actually contribute to society.
7. So busy keeping up with the Jones' yet they don't know what quality is if it hit them with a stick. Their idea of high end is basically dollar general.
8. It smells like shit. You never know when you'll be
periodically hit with whiffs of cow, horse and sheep stink. Seriously- the whole state smells like shit or fracking.
9. Like snow in mid may? Great! Move to Colorado. Hell really is freezing over.
10. I could go on and on, and I will later. But this state is all about money. Colorado will nickel and dime you to death with taxes, fees, breathing its air.. yet, the infrastructure appears to have stood a better chance if it had been developed by a preschooler.
Oh and last but not least for now- druggies, druggies, and more druggies. But no one from there would ever admit it because they are way too good to admit that they can't get through a day without smoking, injecting or putting something up their nose.
Seriously- they don't even welcome outsiders. Save yourself the headache and just skip the state altogether.
1. The altitude. Don't know what it is- but these people are handicapped. They are total airheads. Their lack of oxygen is the only benefit of the doubt I could possibly give these natives or long time dwellers for being socially and mentally defunct.
2. Did I just mention the people? People wanna give the south a bad wrap or obscure little towns across America for being "backwards". Well slow down because Colorado is full of the most shallow, backwards, immature, entitled, ignorant, close-minded people I have ever encountered. Don't believe me? Just read any Coloradoans reply on a message board to someone who finds a problem with their state. Their responses lack any tact and just fortify the assholes that they are. Class? None of them have any. Emotionally, 99% of them never grew past the 6th grade. They are more closed minded than the Christian Coalition. Most of the millenials born and raised there have no desire to even travel outside their home state. Sad. And don't get me started on the good ole boys club. Fast fact: if you're a cowboy who is part of a ranch cult and can carry a conversation about breeding horses you can almost violate any law. But if you are from Texas or California they will do their damned best to send you to prison for jaywalking.
3. Stepford wife capital of America. I thought slavery was abolished years ago. I thought women had rights. I though people are no longer considered property. That is, if you don't reside in Colorado.
4. Beauty is totally overrated. I mean if your into brown desert flatlands and rattlesnakes and tumble weed, I suppose you could paint a nice picture of a horse galloping through the scenic *scoffs* brown dusty land. Colorado has only one thing going for it and it's the Rockies. Except the mountains are full of pretentious people who consider skiiing as a pastime to boast about. They act like their ability to ski is on par with a child prodigy who can play piano like Beethoven or paint like Van Gogh. News flash- stop thinking you and your mountains are so goddamn special.
5. Lacking all culture. God forbid you are anything but white. It's 2017 and children still ask their parents why someone has brown skin. Are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure most of Colorado forgets that there's an entire world out there.
6. Bigotry and laziness. Their ability to complete a business transaction is comparable to communicating by telegram. I'm seriously surprised these people know how to properly cross a street let alone actually contribute to society.
7. So busy keeping up with the Jones' yet they don't know what quality is if it hit them with a stick. Their idea of high end is basically dollar general.
8. It smells like shit. You never know when you'll be
periodically hit with whiffs of cow, horse and sheep stink. Seriously- the whole state smells like shit or fracking.
9. Like snow in mid may? Great! Move to Colorado. Hell really is freezing over.
10. I could go on and on, and I will later. But this state is all about money. Colorado will nickel and dime you to death with taxes, fees, breathing its air.. yet, the infrastructure appears to have stood a better chance if it had been developed by a preschooler.
Oh and last but not least for now- druggies, druggies, and more druggies. But no one from there would ever admit it because they are way too good to admit that they can't get through a day without smoking, injecting or putting something up their nose.
Seriously- they don't even welcome outsiders. Save yourself the headache and just skip the state altogether.
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