Thinking about moving to Colorado? Well don't.

Maybe I appeared a little bitter in my previous post. No worries, nothing's changed. So you want a change of life. You're bored. You're a hamster in a wheel running some pretend or pretentious  rat race. You're wife is bitching that you're not making enough money. You're kids are in private school. Well, I guess I'll preface this by saying- if your kids are in private school, Colorado does offer some sort of voucher program if you want to better your children's education. Just call it Comerado. However, unless you're fond of two faced friends... I'd pass on Colorado. It's not your comrade.

Laaaaaadieeeesss. Do you suffer from dry skin? Fine lines? Ashy legs? No you don't. Not unless you reside in Colorado. There's not enough $400 dollar cream going around that's gonna fix your face. Fan of Aveeno? Ever had a bad meal at a restaurant with a 5 star rating? Well that's precisely what Colorado will do to your skin. Spend all you want on a facial. Don't you know by now a short term fix won't solve a a long term problem? That's right. Sorry Nordstrom, Khiels, Herbivore, Sephora.... money can't buy the damage Colorado will do to your skin. No one needs to be 5000 to 14,000 miles closer to the sun. Soaking up the sun in Colorado will only lead to cancer and looking like a doormat. Men? Don't think this affects you? It will when your woman looks 20 years older than you.


I sort of skipped over the marijuana thing. Well it's legal and that's awesome. But have you ever googled all the marijuana arrests that have taken place in Coloarado after the legalization of pot? Oh hell no. You probably haven't. Why are there so many possession charges in state where pot is legal? Do you like thugs? I sure hope so if you're planning to move to Colorado. The entire state has welcomed hardcore criminals so they can move here to grow pot. Ever heard of the cartel? Well if you move here most likely they will be in your backyard. The last guy I met in the pot business had a warrant out for kidnapping and murder in Florida.

I'll be frank with you. What sounds better? Snowshoeing or walking along the beach. It's that simple. Stay the fuck out of Colorado.

You know how much it takes to buy a lot here? 200,000. Water tap? 30,000. Go build your mansion somewhere else. They don't want you here anyway and they won't be afraid to admit it.